Soul Thoughts

As a child

I pondered the existence

of my soul

it’s location,

how it affected

my heart, my brain

my being

how it was like a balloon

awaiting my sins

to fill it up, one by one

black mark after black mark

the sisters never spoke of

forgiveness

erasing the blackness

God’s eternal love

I imagined my evilness

pulling me down

into the undertow of hell

As an adult

I understood that my soul

is linked to my heart

nestled closely like lovers

beating in unison

a romantic rhythm

My soul sings of happiness,

fulfillment

belief in accomplishment

it thrives on goodness

like an addict hooked on chocolate

the sweetness erases errant

thoughts

lines the soul with a

protective coating

I know that we are one,

my soul and me

it cannot exist without me,

nor I without it

together, we succeed

Missing Him

I wonder where my dad is now?

What country or what town?

Do the people even know he’s there?

And care about his men?

 

I wonder what he’s thinking of

While I stare at the clouds?

Does he see the same sky I see

And smile at the same bright sun?

 

I wonder is he questions

What the war is all about?

Does it make a difference what he does?

And how will it all come out?

 

I wonder when he does come home

Whom will he smile at first?

Do you think he’ll even recognize me

And know that I’m his son?

 

I wonder if he wonders

What I’m thinking of today?

Does he pray for me on bended me

And whisper I love you?

 

Perhaps when he does come home

He’ll have changed in scary ways.

Or maybe he’ll cry tears of joy

Day after wondrous day.

 

Maybe he’ll never share his tales

Of things seen, done and said

For fear of changing how we feel

About our dear old dad.

 

I wonder where my dad is now

And what’s going through his mind.

I hope he pictures me and mom

And yearns to come back home.

 

For now I’ll pray every day

That he’ll survive the war

Return to me as the man I knew

So we’ll be whole once more.