Category Archives: Poems

Missing You

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Do you remember the time I fell and hurt my back?

I’d just had knee replacement surgery.

Been home only a few days.

My bird cage needed cleaning, something

I should have done prior to going to the hospital.

My husband offered to help.

He changed the toys.

The seed and the water.

He pulled out the bottom tray

Dumped the detritus.

I came over to help,

Leaning on the walker my doctor had ordered.

When I reached out to change the paper in the bottom,

I lost my balance

Found myself leaning backwards

Backwards

Backwards

I tried to grab Mike’s shirt but missed.

The floor came up to hit me, spanking me

Harder than my dad had ever done with his belt.

I landed, so hard that pain radiated up my spine.

I recall collapsing onto the floor, crying out in pan,

Immobilized.

I don’t know how long I lay there.

I tried to sit up, but the pain was too much.

My husband went across the street and returned

With two strong young men

Who picked me up and gently placed me in a recliner.

You called then.

You heard my pain, my tears despite

My saying nothing.

You insisted I go to the hospital

When my husband had said the pain would go away.

Did I ever thank you?

X-rays showed a fractured vertebra.

Not so big that I needed medical intervention,

But enough that I felt reassured

That I had not imagined the injury.

That happened before you moved to Arizona.

I miss you so much.

That wasn’t the first nor the last time

You’d offered support.

I Try, Again

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Dieting is no easy job.

It eats at my resistance like

Easter candy, long gone stale,

Tucked away in last year’s basket.

I yearn for a choice piece of chocolate,

Nougat or caramel crème or a

Generous slice of dark chocolate torte.

Those things aren’t in my fare for

Housed within my body are too many

Ounces of fat cells, to the point of

Ugliness, obesity, just plain fat.

Gaining cannot happen, but if I

Have the willpower to succeed,

Success will come my way.

I hope.

The thing is, candy is alluring.

It calls my name, over and over

Until I have no choice but to sneak a bite

A piece, a chunk when no one is looking.

Guilt overwhelms my every thought.

Asking, why did I sabotage myself?

I’m a strong woman, I tell myself.

I’ve overcome emotional and physical abuse.

I’ve suffered chastisement from an employer.

I’ve raised three amazing adults

And been married for decades.

But yet I can’t walk away

When a simple piece of candy,

Or a perfectly baked cookie,

Or a slice of peach pie,

Or a spectacular bowl of ice cream

Appear, like magic.

I tell myself that

I Will. Try. Again.

Touched by Love

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Luz brought out a huge bag of popcorn

Aida brought plates and forks

Susan pulled a bag of napkins out of her purse

Domingo played riffs on his keyboard

Sebastian cleared his throat

Fred stood

Natalie carried in a pan of lumpia

Valerie opened a box of doughnuts

Marilee came with a mixed salad

Fred called everyone to attention

Asked them to rehearse

The tune for the festival.

Meg arrived with a steaming bowl of pancit

Barb placed a covered apple pie on the table

Joyce arrived with a cake

Dave asked everyone to stand

Stu smiled, held his hands up

Fred began singing

Everyone joined in

Smiles on their faces

Voices not really blending

But the sound was perfect

Tessa blew out the candles

Her cheeks reddened

With joy, with love

Felt and shared

They were all blessed.

Claiming my Name

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There’s a name on my birth certificate

Given to me by my parents

The name they used until

I said ‘Stop.”

I hated that name.

It signaled inferiority.

It marked me as different.

I tolerated it.

My teachers taught me to write it.

Each letter carefully formed

At first in print, but then cursive

One letter looping into the next

When I got brave, in my teens,

I demanded a different name.

Not so different,

Just a nickname with many of the same letters.

That name defines me.

I’m not the formal, sophisticated person

Bearing my birth name,

But an athlete, a sports fan.

I use that name everywhere

Except on formal documents.

Even my doctor’s office

Calls me by my preferred name.

Claiming my name is powerful.

It strengthens me.

Gives me the ability to say who I am

And who I intend to be.

Claim your name.

Stage Fright

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Fingers and legs twitch

Heart pounds an unsatisfactory rhythm

Sweat beads on my brow

Breathing is ragged

Speaker after speaker

Stand behind the podium

And read poem after poem

Without showing signs of distress

So why am I panicking?

Why can’t I sit still?

Or breathe in-out, in-out?

Why don’t calming thoughts comfort me?

Someone just read the beginning of a story.

He stumbled over a few words,

Relieving my tension by ten degrees.

If he can err and not collapse so can I.

Two readers left before my turn.

How do I know?

Published on the huge, huge screen,

In black and white, my name is last!

Number twenty-eight.

Is that my new lucky number?

I’d like to think so.

That was a good year for me.

Two children and one of the way

A house.

Our first.

Needing repairs, but ours

Nonetheless.

My first teaching job

In my own classroom

In a mostly abandoned elementary school

But mine! All mine.

Another reader finishes.

It’s time for me to get in line.

The director smiles encouragingly

As I approach.

I walk down the ‘chute’

A dark hole leading to the stage.

Another director smiles

Nods

It’s finally my turn.

As I step into the lights

My worries vanish

And I read, almost sing my poem.

My poem about my dear friend

A friend of forty plus years

Who held my hand when I cried

Who chuckled so loudly she’d wake the dead.

This was my testimony to our friendship.

My memories of good days we’d shared.

She was there with me as she’d always been.

And so, because of her, my voice rang out.

Applause escorted me off the stage.

Applause that should have been hers

For she deserves every last clap

My friend.

Internet Junkie

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Internet junkie, I’m not.

I do know the exact spot

for downloading my music;

soul-soothing, rhythmic tonic,

not too classic, not too hot.

Find a gadget? Takes a “sec,”

because I know where to check.

Instagram is not for me.

And Facebook, although it’s free,

takes gumption. But what the heck!

I’m not the kind to chat a spell

Instant Messenger? Oh, well.

Not for me.  Not in the least.

To me, they’re hair of the beast.

I’d rather a story tell.

So tell me not of wonders fine

or places to order wine,

clothes, gadgets, or new shoes.

I’ve plenty, in many hues.

At excess, I draw the line.

Speak to me of stories new,

Politics, and skies of blue.

Face to face I yearn to be.

Into your eyes, so I can see

you smiling right back at me.

Innocence

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Innocence, so sweet and mild,

Proudly stood, and broadly smiled

Thinking of yon water cool

Standing in the narrow pool.

Azure eyes with sparkling gleam

Laughter sparked the languid scene

Boldly stepped with shoulders high

And sighed, but did barely cry

Father stayed close by her side

Beaming with heavenly pride

Leading her toward the Lord

Blessing her with word and sword

Of righteousness born from love

And belief in God above

Prayers he said; held her tight

Down came a heavenly light

Radiant beams all aglow

About her head they did show

For this was her baptism day

Chosen by the Lord, they say.

Innocence, so sweet and mild,

Proudly stood, and broadly smiled

Just for the Picking

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Ten thousand wishes float into the air

Brightly lit rainbow dots drift without care

Air-filled hopes slowly rise into the sky

Waiting for the moment to multiply

Realistic fantasies within reach

Specifically crafted for us each

Inside, a single dream lurks unfulfilled

Waits for perfect heart in which to be spilled

Dandified dreams as mystic butterflies

Burst in multicolored hues ‘ere our eyes

Windswept images of forgotten faces

Mist-enshrouded thought of faraway places

Everyday troubles weathered away

Lucky lazy bubbles brighten the way

Worlds of wonder wrapped in shiny white

Drawn down to earth by fragile string of kite

Electric energy for those who dare

Ten thousand wishes rise into the air.

Mirage

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I saw you today.

Driving past the local swimming pool

You were walking to your car

 I almost stopped

I wanted to run over and hug you

Tell you how much I miss you

And then I looked,

Really looked

You were older than that woman

Heavier, for sure, but not by much

Your hair was shorter, combed back

While hers was in a ponytail

She wore at-shirt and shorts,

Things you would never have worn

And glasses

Black-framed glasses

And then it hit me.

That wasn’t you.

It could have been though,

Years ago.

We spent time together at that pool.

Our kids played in the water

And took swimming lessons

And then there was the infamous birthday party

For our Mikes.

Tons of people came to share the fun

You hired a belly dancer

Which made your Mike laugh!

It wasn’t until later that we both

Crimsoned

Children watched the hip-swaying

And breast jiggling

Scantily clad, amply built woman dance

To blaring music

I miss you, my friend.

To Truly Know God

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To know God,

to truly know God.

That’s what I want more

than anything.

He’ll come to me as a friend

and sit by my side.

He’ll sing to me of love, joy,

and inner tranquility.

He’ll tell me what a good person

I’ve been all my life

and how pleased He is with

the paths that I have chosen.

When tears run down my cheeks

He’ll wrap His arms around me

and hold me tight, not letting go

until the shuddering subsides.

We’ll share cool water,

homemade bread and a bowl

of fresh fruit picked off trees

in my backyard.

Before we begin we’ll bow heads

and offer thanks for

all the good and kind people in the world,

for peace, for love and for self-acceptance.

When He bites into the apple

and juice runs down His chin,

I’ll snap a photo and we’ll laugh.

He’ll take a picture of me smiling

so that I may treasure it forever.

After our meal I’ll invite Him to spend

the night. We’ll have a slumber party

with popcorn and a G-rated movie.

He’ll sleep in my bedroom.

I’ll be on the couch and when I close my eyes

I’ll sleep more soundly than I’ve ever

slept in my life.

In the morning He’ll wake me

with the warmth of His smile.

I’ll tingle all over and even after

hours have past, I’ll recall the happiness

that spread throughout my body.

Before He leaves He’ll pull

me aside and whisper

like a gentle breeze, but I’ll hear Him

say He’ll be my best friend forever.