A Thanksgiving Lesson

            I am not a particularly good cook. In fact, I am a pathetic cook because I have no interest in cooking except for the simple act of putting food on the table. I can usually follow a recipe, but there’s no guarantee that the finished product will look or taste as advertised.

            The problem goes back to my teen years when my mom insisted I learn to cook. She’d make me stand next to her and watch every move she made. It was incredibly boring. I needed to study. If I didn’t earn straight As I’d be punished. My allegiance went to books, so I’d stand next to her with book in hand.

            That meant I wasn’t paying attention. So when I was told to replicate her concoction, I couldn’t. My mom cooked from memory, not from books. Unless she wrote it down, there was no way I could produce the item. When she did record her recipes, she often left out an ingredient or a crucial step.

            One year my family decided that my husband and I should host Thanksgiving dinner. Mike is a good cook, so he took charge of the turkey and gravy, leaving me to handle the rest. I pulled out every cookbook I owned to find recipes for dressing, green beans and pumpkin and mince meat pies. I chose the easiest options.

            Things were in the oven or on the stove when my family arrived. Altogether there were fourteen hungry people crowded into our house. Fortunately we had planned snacks of cheese and crackers for that kept the kids happy and held the adults at bay while they downed mixed drinks.

            There was only about thirty minutes to go before the turkey would be done, the gravy could be made, the potatoes mashed and the green bean casserole put in the oven.

            The adults were getting restless. They had arrived with a preconceived notion of when the meal would be ready and we were not meeting their mental deadline. I was anxious. While everything looked okay, what if my concoctions didn’t meet their approval? My family could be obnoxious when disappointed, so as time ticked by and tempers began to flare, I knew things were going horribly wrong.

            Then the power went out. One moment the stove was working, the next it wasn’t. Was the turkey done? The beans? Potatoes? Everything appeared to be mostly done, but what if it wasn’t? You can eat the side dishes even if they aren’t quite finished, but you can’t serve an undercooked turkey.

            We waited for the power to return, but after thirty minutes it was obvious that it wasn’t happening. My dad and brother offered advice laced with sarcasm, almost as if it was something we had done to switch off the power.

            My husband is a calm, easy-going man. He moved the barbeque into the backyard and lit the coals. When it was ready, he placed the turkey outside. Everything else went into the still-warm oven.

            The troops, however, were impatient, frustrated and hungry. They had allotted only a certain amount of time to be at our home and that time was ending. Either food would be served or they would leave. The options were not politely phrased.

            I hung out in the kitchen pretending that I knew what I was doing and that things were in hand. Mike monitored the turkey, which meant he was outside leaving me inside getting the brunt of the criticism.

            When the turkey was finally done, I was able to breathe a tiny sigh of relief. As he cut and placed meat on a platter, I pulled everything out and got it on the table. He made the gravy and poured it into the bowl.

            Dinner was served. People sat. Grace was said. The food was edible even though most things weren’t hot. Tempers settled. A bit of peace entered the house.

            Just as the last of the dishes were being rinsed off, the power returned.

            People left, some bearing leftovers.

            The meal worked out, but never again would I host a family meal. The stakes were too high and I refused to bear the brunt of their anger when the fault lay not in something I had done, but in the failure of the power to stay on.

            Later on Mike helped me understand that things had worked out despite my nervousness and fears. After all, food had been served. No one left hungry unless by choice.

            That Thanksgiving was over thirty years ago, but it left an indelible mark. Never again, I told myself, would I host a family gathering.

            Little did I know that when my mother-in-law died that my husband’s family would decide that we would host a brunch for sixty people. I announced that I would cook nothing. I would take care of paper goods, but that was it. The family would have to prepare every dish and clean up afterwards.

            Guess what? I held to my pronouncement. When cooking was happening, I stayed out of the kitchen. I picked up no dirty dishes, washed not a single thing, refilled no snack bowls and did not monitor the ice chests of drinks. I found myself a quiet place away from the crowds and stayed there for the five hours that people were in my home.

            One failure was sufficient to keep me from ever cooking for a crowd. Even though I had had not control over the power going out, blame was still laid at my feet. If my husband’s family wanted a party, they would have to shoulder the effort. Never again would I shoulder the mantle of responsibility.

            It’s amazing how liberating it is to refuse, to loudly proclaim that I would not be in charge. If only I had applied that motto to other areas in my life, things might have been different. But that’s another story for another time.

Song of Hope

Come, gentle rain, come

Cleanse the earth of all sin

Brighten the world

With the color of blooms

Blossoming under your watchful eye

Drip, drop upon the soil

Soak deep into the dirt

Feed tiny creatures down below

Feed forgotten roots, long dry

Yearning for your magic touch

Watch, oh, kind heart

As rejoicing spreads

Across the world

Wild with unmatched hues

Breaking out in fervent song

As all sing of your glory

Sing of the gift of life

Praise renewal of the spirit

Knee-deep in exuberance

Smiling the smile of hope

Come, gentle rain, come

Drip, drop upon the soil

Watch, oh, kind heart

As all sing of your glory

Soapsuds

Soapsuds, please, scour away

The scalding tears searing

My pathetic, rapidly pounding heart

Erase the train-track rivulets

Tumbling terribly into the very

Fiber of my frivolous, fragile feelings

Blot out the blanketing pools

Pulsating through my pores

Preventing my pupils from seeking sight

My heart aches horribly

Heat burns through the hull with a

Heaviness that drags me into my private hell

I yearn for luminosity of light

The cleansing cacophony of children’s

Mesmerizing melodies of merriment

Refreshing refrains of unadulterated relief

To wipe away the weariness weighing down

On my overburdened shoulders

Comforting water, wash a cool calmness

Over me, obliterate this one source of pain

So that my open spirit may rise with the dawn

Bubbles babble at my unburdened feet

Boosting me into the blueness of sky

Freeing me to begin at the beginning

Before the pain blocked my peripheral view

I can see more clearly now, for the scrub

Has done me great good.

Thanks to God’s Helpers

God appears as a total stranger

When you least expect Him.

In the form of the woman

Who perilously stopped at the side

Of the road and ran to our rescue,

Terror crossing her face, thinking only

Of the safety of those tossed about

Expecting injured bodies,

Her cell phone in hand

And already calling for help.

In the shape of the dark-haired man

Who stopped on the shoulder of the road

And ran to our car

Wearing his EMT jacket and asking

Over and over, “Is anyone hurt?”

Who did not leave until he saw

Us safely back on the highway

And driving away.

In the face of the kind Army officer

Dressed in his snug winter khaki green

Uniform, face full of concern,

Who jumped from his own car and ran,

Thinking the baby inside might be hurt.

Then climbed behind the wheel and drove

So carefully out of the ditch

Then cautioned us to be careful and to

Return home to the safety of our loved ones.

Thanks to the truck driver who passed by first

After witnessing our zigzag route

Across the ice-encrusted road.

Who smiled when I climbed out uninjured

And honked in sympathy to let us know

That he had called for help.

Thanks to the snowplow driver

Who waved as he went by in the fast lane

A salute to the living

A salute to the blessed survivors

Who were able to get up and walk away.

Thanks to the countless others

Who took time from their busy lives

To care about total strangers

Stranded in a snow back,

Two women

And a child strapped into her seat

Cold, but safe from harm.

All these carried Jesus in their hearts

Opening themselves to the

Possibility of grace returned in equally measure.

God’s grace falling in the snow

Of redemption.

For all these things and many more

We bless the Lord this day

And grant them peace and serenity

All the days of their lives.