Many Long Years

My path wasn’t always paved with smooth stones.

The bumps and crags caused me to stumble,

To veer away from my God,

Thankfully not for long.

Life would be good for a while

I’d pass a difficult class,

Date a nice man

But then an obstacle would rise up

It’s not that I forgot how loving God could be,

Or that I lost faith in His love.

I’d get lost in my own drama

Thankfully not for long.

I’d forget to look up

And enjoy the blue sky above.

Be mesmerized by the clouds floating by

Instead, I’d plod along lost in my sadness

.

I thought I had no one to turn to.

No one who’d care if I bared my soul.

Not one single person who’d dry my tears.

Thankfully it didn’t last for long.

When my world fell apart, dragging me into the depths

I’d wallow in misery, tears washing my face,

Blocking my vision so completely

That no joy, no hope could penetrate.

But then something wonderful happened,

My husband-to-be entered my world

And everything changed.

Thankfully for a good, long time.

He was there to bolster me up when

Sadness weighed on my shoulders.

He was there when I felt incompetent,

Incapable of succeeding in whatever I chose to do.

He showed me the blue sky, the clouds drifting by.

He held my hand and made me feel loved.

Together we laughed and smiled.

Thankfully for a good, long time.

He brought God into my life.

Together we’d pray, attend Mass,

Take classes to be better parents.

Walk with me when the path got bumpy.

He changed my life in so many ways.

And still does, all these years later.

He’s shown me unconditional love.

Thankfully for a good, long time.

My Soul Doth Magnify the Lord

I never believed those words,

From a psalm we sing at church,

Applied to me.

I was the outcast

The odd one out

The unlovable one, according to my parents.

I held onto hope

That something would happen

To change my life’s circumstances

But my thoughts

Barely made a dent

In where I was going.

All it took was a glimpse

Of a future filled with love

A future with the man who’d become my husband.

He taught me love

Love of family and home

Love of God who, does indeed, take care of my soul.

My eyes were opened

For the first time.

I saw a person deserving of love

A person who was intelligent

Capable, loving, and full of ideas

My vision was realigned.

I knew now that I didn’t have to see everything

That I didn’t have to have all the answers\

My God would be there, helping me along the way.

The Lord is greater than any worries I might have.

He’s louder than negative thoughts that fill my brain

He’s so strong that my weaknesses fall away.

He brings me hope, love, faith in myself

Amplified through Him and my husband.

My soul, does indeed, magnify the Lord.

Changing the Bed

Mindlessly, I pulled the pillows off the bed

Thinking about what my husband had just said

About feeling adrift in a world gone mad

Fighting over things that folks once had had

Pillowcases not so gently tossed aside,

My mind roamed to all those soldiers who had died

Fighting against the wind in lands far away

Laundry on a line, too tightly bound to stray

The plaid coverlet dumped carelessly on the floor

Landed, with aplomb, blocking the bedroom door

So many paved paths deadlocked by tragedy

Murdered teens drowning in the filth of the city

Layer by layer I stripped my place of rest

As if preparing for a traveling guest

Who’d put alterations in my troubled brain

Inspiring change, much like a runaway train

It came to me, then, the trouble we are in

Referred back to when the world began to spin

Dirt drifted down, quickly tarnishing the soil

Sturdy stains from which all men would recoil

Yet, like drawn to the fire of a brand new day

Cleansing ideas floated in with the sway

Influencing hearts to always seek the truth

Strive to avoid the repulsively uncouth

Gathering the detritus of my hard work

I realized that there is one mammoth perk

When assembled together, my bed will please

Only then did I relax: my mind at ease 

               Despair

Crispy, crunchy bits on the floor

Remnants of what was once me

Speak in sequestered voice

Whispers for none to hear

Memories masked in flimsy gauze

Distort into moaning miseries

Slices of soul oozing through my eyes

Trek along determined trails

Hollowness hails each morning

Darkness so deep that no light gleams

Heaviness haunts my limbs

Paralyzes rational thought

No hope, no light

Nothing but everlasting midnight

Covers my heart

Entrapped in cement, I wail

           A Grain of Sand

Nothing more than a grain of sand

one among a cast of millions

arose and accepted the burdensome

yoke of humanity, the drudgery of life,

the pains, torments, tears, and fears

until love entered his heart.

Nothing but a tiny grain of sand

now filled with a woman’s love

beaming broader than the sun,

wider than the Milky Way

standing tall, strong, proud, and fearless

with her vision in his mind.

Nothing but a proud grain of sand

knelt by her side, making his

wishes known, the dreams of his soul,

the secrets of his heart,

the projects, plans, ideas, and thoughts

searing his vision.

Nothing but an exultant grain of sand

stood with his love at the altar

pledging faithful love, devotion,

a lifetime of togetherness,

trials, tribulation, joys, tears

traveling the path of marriage.

Nothing but two grains of sand

forged through the world

casting aside the millions to

focus on the other, the others that

they create, the little ones, children,

loins of our loins and loves of our love,

for now and forever. Amen.

Commitment

the story of a marriage

is one of

trials

and

tribulations

forgiveness

and

letting go

of errors made

love

and

anger

compromise

and

patience

walking together

through life

sharing times

good

and

bad

most of all

reveling

in each other’s

company

until death

do us part

A Limited Perspective

The curtain falls

Darkness ensues

The audience waits

Entranced

Holding breaths

Until the magic begins

The story unfolds

Holding enraptured

The captives

As they follow every word

Action

Song

Trying to memorize everything

For the future

To be able to express how they felt

What they saw

The experience of it all

Except for one lonely man

Sitting in the balcony

So high up that all he sees are the tops of heads

He understands that something

Great is happening below

But he cannot appreciate it

Because he cannot see

He hears the words, the music

But it bears no meaning without sight

When the show is over

When the man is asked about the play

He understands that he missed

A key point, an important interaction

And so he takes from the experience

A limited perspective

But to him, it enables him

To speak as an expert

Who has witnessed an inferior production

As someone with knowledge in the arts

Who has the right to disparage the show

That wasn’t worth money spent

Later, he sits alone, yearning for the time

When theater was great.

God so Loves Me

My early years were tough,

Growing up feeling unloved,

Unwanted

Inferior

Except for my God

Who I knew loved me

He walked with me

Through turmoil

That tried to drag me down

Down

Down.

So far down that I almost

Drowned in sorrow

Until I realized

That my God loved me

For way too long

I thirsted

A dried-out soul

Sinking into the morass

Of depression

Until it came to me

That my God loved me

He gave me the gift of sunshine

That lit up my soul

Reignited joy

Reminded me that I was lovable

And capable of giving love

All thanks to

The love of my God

His love set me free

From despair and torment

From hatred and loneliness

I started breathing

His fire

Coming from the love of my God

Because of Him I live free

Happy and fulfilled

Blessed in countless ways

My heart beating out

The Love of my God.

Another day awakens

A new day begins,

Promising calm winds

Sunny skies

A touch of clouds

That guide me through

The hectic times of my life

I stretch, drawing in

Energy to replenish

My weary soul

To revitalize desires

And strengthen interests

A healing, needed balm

The day beckons me forth

Greeted by the early

call of morning birds

Filled with bounteous joy

That fills my soul

With unbounded joy

I burst into expectant smile

The day is mine to conquer

I shall vanquish foes

Destroy doubts

Eliminate naysayers

While rising to the peak

Of my talent

Ah, the dreams of a new day

A day of joyous victory

To fill my sights.

I rejoice.

My Place in Time

Alone

In the middle of a crowded room

Silent voices scream for recognition

Fear

Twists guts into compressed clay

Paralyzing limbs, numbing throats

Degradation

Fills the ears of the emotionally injured

Ruining scarce moments of hard-fought joy

Depression

Carries sinking hearts into oblivion

Erasing memories of happiness felt

Hands

Reach out, begging for salvation

Yearning for one sign of love

Answers

Arrive in rain-soaked clouds

Pouring down tears of understanding

Compassion

Clears the night of unmasked terrors

Awakening remnants of esteem, long forgotten

Joy

Blooms in multi-colored bursts of words

Spoken, thoughts shared, kindnesses felt

Light

Seeps into the crevices of the heart

Obliterating shards of self-doubt

Happiness

Explodes in multicolored bursts

Opening souls to welcoming voices

Surrounded

Encased

Enfolded

Alone no more