Home is beckoning
I long to run my fingers
down my cat’s back
hear his plaintive meow
when he’s hungry
I miss the loud calls
of my birds as they speak
to one another across the room
I miss my home
Not just the curtains or the furniture
But the my-ness of home
all the things that make it
uniquely mine
memories of my kids that linger
in the air like a fine mist
I can hardly wait to open the
door and step into the world that
my husband and I have created
Look beneath the sunny smile
And stay awhile.
What do you see?
The real me.
Dig under my nails and skin
To find the soul within.
What do you see?
Lonely me.
Reach for the hidden being
Well beyond seeing.
What do you see?
Tearful me.
Wipe away the measured words
That belie fluttering birds.
What do you see?
Worried me.
Remove the tightly wound bars
To give my wondrous stars
So I can be
Truly free.
Spring the trap that binds.
Unloose the tie that winds.
What do you see?
Ecstatic me.
Music calls me
To fly with angels
In an azure sky
With gossamer wings
And crowns of golden filigree
Cymbals, harps, and lutes
Create magical tunes
Giving glory to God
And all His mighty works
Music of the soul
Heavenly prayers
Voices lift in harmony
Filling God’s ears with
Sound rejoicing
Blending, splitting, lifting
Toward heaven in
Wondrous rapture
Joining in mysterious
Psalms choruses praise
God day and night
Filling my soul
With delight
Praise God all ye peoples
Of the earth
Join in perfect harmony
Sing with me today
Alleluia! Alleluia!
Every day I pack my bag with
Swimsuit and fresh beach towel
And drive to the gym
Optimistic that a few pounds will be shed
Just enough to make a slight difference
I drive past workers stringing new telephone lines
Bicyclists, young and old, wavering in and out
Of the narrow confines of their allotted space
I bypass trucks that stop at train tracks
As I listen to my favorite country music stars
Wondering how crowded the pool will be
And picture my fat self walking
Nonchalantly to the pool’s edge
Sitting on the top step as I put on my fins
Pretending that my suit isn’t stretched too
Tightly over my abdomen
And then I step into the water and begin to swim
Feel the current that my hands create
My breathing rhythmic and the motion calming
Lap after lap I glide
Outlasting younger, stronger, faster swimmers
When I’m finished, I smile
Proud of what I have accomplished
And in those peaceful minutes
I forget about my size
And what others see when they gape
For I know, that in that moment of time,
That they don’t know the real me
And never will
Majestic mountains with snow-capped peaks
touch a baby-blue sky dotted with puffy clouds
like fingers brushing God’s eyes, cleansing air.
White dusted pines march up and down slopes
erect as soldiers, as still as statues bearing arms,
free from smoky campfires and slow-moving cars.
Half-frozen lakes rimmed with white ice,
idle now from summer’s pleasures,
enjoying peaceful rest and rehabilitation.
Winter-tolerant birds call quietly, snug in nests
hidden in tall trees, protected from wind’s chill blasts.
Fragile-boned winter-thinned deer huddle under low branches
ever watchful, ever dreaming of green fields and sunny days.
Bright white hares frozen in place, noses twitching, on alert.
Silence broken by crunching footsteps marking time,
clapping gloved hands, and occasional muffled words.
Breath steams, creating human-bred clouds that rise
to greet the day, the mountains, life-giving air,
giving substance to dreams that otherwise vaporize
into nothingness, dispelling fears and chasing away
omens of ills that might come to the unwary.
Blessed mountains with snow-capped peaks
reminders of the glory, the majesty, the grandeur
of the world entrusted to our hands to keep, to protect,
to save for generations and generations to come.
Gray hair that once was brown
Straight that used to curl
Not combing or brushing
Not washing or rinsing
Just tangling on her head.
Body so frail that once ran
Legs that can’t even stand
Not moving or twitching
Not lifting or stretching
Just resting in the bed.
Eyes that once so clearly saw
Every mistake, every flaw
Not blinking or closing
Not focusing or watching
Just staring straight ahead.
Mind that once measured
Each phrase, each meaning
Not thinking or dreaming
Not pitting or planning
Just forgetting all said.
Voice that once spoke
Of family and friends
Not whispering or shouting
Not bragging or lying
Just lost in a void.
Gone now.
Laid at rest.
Still.
Silent.
Peace at last.
Driving home, the freeway jammed
Even the diamond land crammed.
Cruise ships seeking safe repose,
Passengers fighting off woes.
Fingers white around the wheel.
Hearts forgetting how to feel.
Tunnels permanently blocked.
Wooden doors steadfastly locked.
Hopeless, dreamless,zombie-like
Pounding in the golden spike
Absolute sincerity
Wallows in simplicity.
Disaster looms up ahead.
Patterns melt the tangled thread.
Revolutionaries sway
Blinkers indicate the way.
Arterial trends emerge.
Widens an expansive urge.
Switching lanes has come too fast.
Now forgetting all the past.
Exit sign soon arises
Throwing off all disguises.
Speeding in direction shown
Indicates a welcome home.
Midnight blues sing through my veins
Filling my heart with discordant strains
Untamed beats chase away smooth rhythms
Binding my emotions in velvet ribbons.
Saxophones and trumpets blaze into the night
Screaming in agony: writhing with fright
Discordant voices lost in the devilish din
Succumbing to the mesmerizing power of sin
Dreams of orchestras lost in unholy pleas
Drag me down, down, onto wobbly knees
Rending sounds screech, moan, and tear
apart my soul; laying my heart bare
In supplicant voice, a sweet melody
Springs forth; a personal symphony
Gentle flutes settle the lopsided score
As piccolos delve straight to the core
Softly discontent relaxes its grip
Into the night, those pesky blues slip.
Visions of a long ago past
keep clouding my brain,
carrying me back in time
when herds of shaggy buffalo
roamed the verdant plains,
grazing peacefully on the lush
grasses and thinking of little
except taking the next bite.
Nomadic tribes followed the
mighty herds, giving praise
to their gods for the wonders
of sustenance freely given.
Every sinew, every shard of bone,
every inch of hide valuable gems
for improving the quality of life.
Brave warriors, dressed in hides
and lathered in specially-made
potions encircle the unmindful
beasts, seeking those best suited
for the entire tribe’s needs.
Never taking more than would be
consumed, never wasting gifts
for the sake of one small part,
and always thanking the beast’s soul,
for dying so that others may live.
Traditions broken by the arrival
of ungrateful hunters who willingly
destroyed the herds to line their small
pockets with precious gold coins,
in their wake leaving only the
footprints of times long past.
Guardian angel
Spread your wings
Shelter me
My soul is troubled
And I’ve fallen into despair.
Ave Maria
Bless my soul
Embrace me
My spirit is weak
And I’ve drifted far astray.
Padre de Dios
Give me strength
Lift me up
My body is frail
And I’ve lost the will to live.
Lord Jesus
Stay with me
Guide the journey
My time has come
And I’ve already said goodbye.
Words and Thoughts 