Just Me

If I could choose to be

anything in the world,

I’d prefer to stay me,

an ordinary girl.

Nothing too special,

simply plain ol’ me;

terribly typical

without mystery.

Lacking true beauty

from the outside,

I’ve talents aplenty

on the inside.

Reader, writer, singer,

puzzle-solver, too;

teacher, sister, mother,

friend to folks like you.

I’ve never had a dream

of golden luxuries.

I’m happy as I seem

floating on a breeze.

I yearn for happy days

filled with simple joys,

living, loving, always

playing with my toys.

Call me someone gentle

call me your best friend,

call me gorgeous twinkle,

forever without end.

Don’t Surprise Me

Don’t jump out from behind a door

Screaming “Surprise”

Expecting me to react with unsurpassed

Joy.

It’s not going to happen.

Don’t plan a birthday party

A week before the actual date

Thinking I’ll appear with a huge smile

And clap my hands with joy.

It’s not going to happen.

Don’t wrap a fancy package with

Brightly colored ribbon topped with a bow

And drive all the way to my house

Knock on my door and

Think I’ll be dumbstruck with thanks.

It’s not going to happen.

Unlike some people I hate surprises.

No, I detest them

As I never know how to react

Or whether or not I’m expected

To reciprocate.

I’m stilted socially.

I didn’t grow up in a home

That taught or understood

Social niceties.

What to do when this or that happens.

I hate parties,

Not knowing what food to bring for sharing

Or what gift might please someone else

Or what to say to people I barely know.

I hate surprises unless its roses from my husband

Or a call from one of my grown children

Or a card from a friend

Or perhaps a gift of a prayer in time of need.

Put me in a room full with people

And I freeze.

My mind goes blank and I struggle to find

Something to talk about.

I drop into ‘teacher’ mode

posing questions as if to my students

listening to responses

while thinking of another question.

Don’t surprise me and expect

Gushing praise.

Don’t spring something on me

Thinking I’ll jump for joy.

Don’t hand me a gift

That I don’t expect

As I will feel guilty

For not having done the same for you.

To put it simply:

Don’t surprise me.

Travails

            I thought I was smart enough to recognize a scam.

            Many times I’d hung up on potential scammers. My favorite: a man pretending to be my grandson asking for money. First of all, my grandson doesn’t speak with an accent and definitely doesn’t sound like an old man. That was an easy one.

            I’d fended of many calls pretending to be from Microsoft or the bank or a credit card company.

            For months warnings have appeared whenever I was online, threatening that one account or another would crash it I didn’t do something immediately. I ignored those as well.

            But when my computer crashed, giving me a robin-egg blue screen, I didn’t know what to do. Two of my neighbors are IT specialists. Neither were home. I tried shutting down my computer, but upon restart, the blue screen was still there.

            I called my son-in-law, who knows more about computers than I will ever know. Because I couldn’t share the screen with him, I had to take photos with my phone and text them to him.

            He suggested not just shutting down my computer, but unplugging it. I did so. Waited an appropriate amount of time. Restarted. The blue screen was gone. For one day.

            When it appeared the second time, I received a phone call from Microsoft Security. I was skeptical, but it seemed legitimate. They knew stuff about me. My SSN, DOB, and even credit card. I did what they said. They transferred me to the FTC, where I spoke with someone claiming to be an Officer. He gave me a case number.

Meanwhile my husband visited the bank. I am so glad he did that! We had no idea how deep these scammers were into my computer and our finances.

            The blue screen went away. For another day.

            Another phone call. The voice sounded familiar. By now I am scared. They know everything about me. SSN, DOB, home address. Even my oldest son’s name.

            When they asked for a cashier check to safeguard my accounts, I knew this was a scam.

            Fortunately I had already begun changing passwords. I’d filed complaints with two federal agencies. After the second call, and then a third, I filed complaints everywhere I could.

            I still don’t know ow safe we are.

            My computer has been cleaned up. Five viruses had been found. Several connected to the dark web. They were deeply embedded in my computer and hadn’t been stopped by either of the antivirus programs installed.

            I’m sharing this as a cautionary tale.

            If you get that blue screen, take your computer in for a cleansing!

            Don’t try to fix it on your own.

            Don’t talk to anyone who claims they are from a know company.

            Please be smarter than I was.