Photos

            When my dad brought home a box-shaped camera around my eighth birthday, I was hooked. Granted I didn’t get to use it as film and processing were expensive and our family had little money to spare, but I loved the black and white images. It didn’t matter if the top of someone’s head was missing or the feet or an arm. It didn’t matter if the image was too dark or bleached out or if it was a bit fuzzy.

            There was an intrigue about immortalizing that moment, that brief glimpse into someone’s life that thrilled me.

            Polaroid cameras granted instant gratification. You had to be patient as the image processed, right before your eyes! It was a small miracle, taking place in color.

            I don’t remember my first camera. Most likely it came from a thrift store or bargain basement warehouse as the only money I had was from picking and selling fruit from our neighbor’s trees.

            I don’t recall what I attempted to immortalize or what happened to that camera.

            In college I enrolled in an art class, not because I was interested in art, but to fulfill a graduation requirement. I hated columns: Greek, revival, whatever. I hated cornices but found gargoyles interesting.

            When the course turned to paintings, my interest was tickled. Scenes a happy people lounging in a meadow or leaning over a fence or watching horses race touched me deep, deep inside. They calmed me. Snuggled into my heart and brought a peace I’d never known.

            The abstracts confused me, but I relished every slide of a real-life image.

            Next came photography. My brain lit up, reminding me of my futile attempts to freeze a moment in time. The images before the class had a depth and clarity beyond my comprehension.

            With my little camera I began taking photos of trees and flowers and people from afar. None of my products were good, or even acceptable, but I saw them as learning opportunities.

            I joined the Catholic group on a retreat. I had no idea what a retreat entailed except that it was in a forest. Somewhere.

            When I got off the bus in a quiet place surrounded by humongous trees, my first instinct was to capture that image. Little cameras are incapable of taking photos of giant trees, so all my attempts were failures.

            Inside the cabin, I was assigned a top bunk. I climbed up, to see what it would be like, while someone began playing the guitar. I’d recently rekindled my love of music, so sang along quietly, a smile, I’m sure, on my face. The woman across from me asked to see my camera. She took a photo of me when I was distracted.

            Imagine my surprise when the developed images included one of me! Light hair, shoulder-length. Wired rimmed glasses sparkling in the flickering overhead light.

            I dabbled with photography off and on, as time allowed. After marriage, a trip to Yosemite introduced me to the great Ansel Adams. I studied his books, joined an Ansel Adams photography club and took classes at the community college. My husband set up a developing lab in a bathroom and we experimented with exposure, highlights, different techniques.

            We entered photos at the county fair. I never got a prize, but my husband did for a picture I took, but he processed. I was given a small show at a downtown photography store. I never grew tired of seeing my work in the front windows that faced the street.

            I bought better and better cameras as the ‘bug’ continued to intrigue me. I created albums for our kids. Each got several when they turned into adults.

            I learned how to frame a scene, how to choose contrast, when needed. How to look for an interesting something in the foreground. How to edit on my computer.

            Photography still intrigues me. When we travel I always have my camera plus my cell phone. I take shot after shot hoping to catch one that fulfills my expectations. And then, back home, I assemble those images into albums that capture the memories we created.

            Photography fulfills me in the same way that singing in the choir does, that writing a story does, that spending time with friends does.

Vacation Memories

            Before the software existed that allow us to import photos and add written descriptions, cataloguing vacation photos was often inconsistently done. Sometimes pictures would be sealed under a thin clear film with no words to show where there were taken or even who was in them.

            After too many page turnings, the adhesive would fail and the photos would slip out.

            The glue would yellow, leaching into the pictures, fading out faces and places alike.

            Even so, I’d hang on to the albums, for they were what connected me to that past.

            After a while, however, I’d quit looking at the albums. Work and parenting demands took center court, chewing up time that I used to spend reminiscing.

            When our kids grew up, we handed over their albums, a passing of memories, so to speak. None of them seemed overjoyed at the prospect of storing those aged tomes. I have a feeling that they all ended up in the garbage. But that’s okay.

            These days I import photos into online albums, clustering them by place and theme. I research descriptions of where I’d been, so as to ensure that my information is accurate.

            When finished, all I have to do is click a button, pay over money, and then within a few weeks a glossy keepsake arrives in the mail.

            We do pull out the first albums as they remind us of the trips we’ve been on, the places we’ve visited and the things we saw.

            Initially I only took photos of “things,” never us. But then I read somewhere that our kids and grandkids need to see us as we were then, not necessarily as we are now.

            This is especially true as my husband and I quickly approach eighty.

            The first commercially prepared album was done in our sixties. We looked very different then. Both of us carried quite a bit more weight. Our hair still had some original color to it and my husband’s covered a tad more of his scalp.

            Our clothes were looser, to cover our bellies, sort of.

            We had to ask someone to take our picture if we wanted one with the two of us. Otherwise, my husband would be in two or three, me in one. I liked taking his pictures and hated the way I looked in mine.

            As time passed, we show up together in more and more albums. We got brave enough to ask for help and got less embarrassed about how we looked.

            The photos were seldom good. They might be off-kilter or out-of-focus. They might have been in shadow or in light so bright that the sun glinted in my glasses. There might be deep shadows obliterating half our faces. The background that we’d chosen might not be visible.

            So many things can go wrong!

            But, now when I create albums, we’re there, standing next to penguins in the Falkland Islands, pretending to ride a camel in Morocco, leaning against the railing of the ship at a particularly lovely port.

            I am glad that we decided to take more pictures of us. I want our family to see us, at this age, going places and doing things. Enjoying life, to the best of our ability. Eating fine meals, getting dressed for dinner, wearing sun hats to protect our faces.

            These are the important memories, not just the ones of ancient Mesa cliff dwellings or unusual rock formations or penguins dashing into the water.

            Perhaps no one in our family will want the albums, but for now, they are a living legend of who we are, where we’ve been and what we looked like at the time of that voyage. They’ll look at those pictures and remember that we walked among penguins, saw a snake charmer in Fez, and watched glaciers cave in Alaska.