“Brain Fog” While Writing

Those who has suffered COVID-19 often experience what scientists refer to as “Brain fog”. It’s not a medical condition, but rather a set of symptoms that, according to WebMd, affect your ability to think, cause a sense of confusion and make it difficult to focus or put thoughts into words.

Harvard Health describes it as a feeling of being sluggish, fuzzy or generally not sharp.

            Brain Fog covers a wide range of symptoms, including poor concentration, feeling confused, thinking more slowly than usual, being forgetful, and suffering mental fatigue. According to the NHS, it can feel similar to sleep deprivation or even stress, but is not the same as dementia.

            I recently contracted COVID after a trip to Arizona to spend time with a good friend.

            I’d had difficulty breathing when I boarded the plane to fly home, so was unable to keep my mask on. I understood the risk I was taking, but I was fully vaccinated, with all but the most recent booster in my arm.

            Four days later I joined friends for a wonderful lunch. I felt perfectly fine or I wouldn’t have gone. I enjoyed lunch, eating every bite of my Napa Cabbage salad. It tasted as delicious as usual.

            After lunch, we strolled through beautiful Benecia, enjoying our time together.

            On the drive home, within about twenty minutes of saying goodbye, congestion began. By the time I got home an hour later, it hurt to breathe, my head was completed stuffed and I wasn’t thinking clearly.

            I’d had COVID once before, so I knew the symptoms. I gave myself the test: it came back positive.

            I alerted my friends, emailed my doctor, then collapsed on the couch under a nice, warm blanket.

            I lived there for several days.

            I am not a patient person. I don’t like to sit still for too long unless I am deep in the writing process. I go to the gym nearly every day, working out for close to an hour each time. Once a week I hike up and down steep hills with a friend and on Fridays I walk the neighborhood with my husband.

            Late mornings and early afternoons I write. Every day.

            That’s my routine.

            But when COVID hits, my only thought is to bundle up. For a while. Then I have to get up and check out the symptoms, to see if there’s been improvement.

            This bout of the virus was particularly devastating. I experience a ton of symptoms, from the expected fatigue, slight fever, loss of taste and smell. But the meds they gave me to fight the virus caused a bad taste in my mouth that lasted for the length of the treatment.

            There was sleeplessness and an intense physical fatigue that still plagues me. I’m good for about thirty minutes of slow walking, and that’s it.

            I love working jigsaw puzzles, but found I couldn’t concentrate on putting together pieces.

            I had photos from a recent cruise to upload: I accidentally deleted four that there’s no way to borrow from the Internet.

            Most devastating was my ability to write.

I’ve been in the process of editing a novel that an agent requested. I’d made it to the halfway mark and was feeling quite positive about the changes I’d made.

COVID hit, and I could barely read the words through my blurred vision. My eyes burned and stung like a bad allergic reaction, causing pain whenever I tried to read.

The worst part was Brain Fog.

I could read a sentence, but not remember what I’d read. I could see what needed to be changed, but would make stupid typos that ruined the piece.

Incomplete sentences, missing letters, dialogue that made no sense.

I’d work on a few pages when I was strong enough to sit, then the next day have to edit those same pages. And then the next day repeat. And so on.

The fog is beginning to lift. After all, I am writing this, right? But does it make sense? Is my grammar okay? Did I use sentences and correct word endings?

I’ve made a conscious decision to leave this piece as it is, in the hopes that someone will read it and understand.

I know people who’ve made a choice not to get vaccinated. That’s fine as long as their circle of friends doesn’t mind.

As long as they confine themselves to a like minded circle of acquaintances that feel the same.

But…as soon as that person walks into my world, the world of an older woman who has chronic asthma, then that person’s decision impacts my health, my life.

And that’s not right.

Our decisions shouldn’t cause adverse harm to others.

Choosing to not vaccinate against a virus that’s killed over a million Americans affects me, children with lowered immune systems, those struggling against diseases such as cancer, and anyone over a certain age.

Brain Fog is very real.

For someone who loves words, having them stolen from you because of someone’s callous disregard to vaccination, seems almost criminal.

And then there’s the fact that my breathing infected air had on my friend!

There’s a circle of contacts that each of us has. Our closest friends and family are most impacted by viruses and diseases we contract.

As the layers of circles expand, there is less and less possibility of us infecting those in the outer rings.

But, that day I spent time in a tiny local bookstore. I spoke with the waitress. I used the restaurant’s utensils. I strolled through several cute stores, looking at merchandise. I bought two unique cookies at a tiny bakery. And before hitting the freeway, I used the restroom at McDonald’s where I then ordered a soda.

Although I felt fine, I was spreading germs like crazy.

I wonder how many I infected? Is the owner of the book store okay? What about the nice clerk at McDonald’s?

I can’t spend time worrying about them: all I can do is take care of me.

The Fog is slowly dissipating, but the effects, according to the sources I checked, might linger for several weeks. And if I get long-term COVID, they might persist for months or even years.

Please, for the sake of those you might not know, toss off your resistance to vaccination. Get the boosters. Don’t go out if you have a cough. Test yourself often. Be kind to yourself, but most importantly to those you might not know.

Scary Experience

On Monday of this week I had a real scare.

I had eaten lunch and gone to the gym. Then I went to a local store to buy some things I needed. After picking out a nice birthday card, I ran into a friend that I had not seen for many years.

We fell into our old friend patterns, talking, sharing, asking questions. It was wonderful to see her! It reminded me of all the talking did while we played on the same soccer teams, the visits to each other’s houses, and all the good times.

All of a sudden it felt like all the blood was flooding out of my head, pouring down my neck and out of my body. I half expected to see a pool of blood at my feet. Thankfully there wasn’t, but it didn’t alter the fact that I suddenly felt quite woozy.

Most stores do not have chairs placed about, and this was so. I knew I needed to sit. The only thing nearby was a display. As I headed toward that, my friend started calling for help.

A young man came to my assistance. He just happened to be a nursing student and he knew exactly what to do. While he was tending me, my friend called my husband and told him to get over to the store. Someone else called 911.

The store employees also came to my assistance. One got a wheelchair. A couple of others blocked me off from all the lookie-loos that were stopping by to stare.

Somewhere along the way I actually lost consciousness. It was supposedly only for a few seconds, but when I came to, the young man was cradling my head.

Meanwhile several people helped move me to a wheelchair and out of the aisle so that things were a little more private.

My friend told me that employees helped guide the paramedics to me. One stood outside in the cold, without a jacket, until they arrived. Another stood just inside the door and walked them to me. Both of these employees oversaw my care while my friend kept watch for my husband.

The decision was made to transport me to the hospital because my blood pressure was quite low. I heard the numbers, but they mean nothing to me.

In the ambulance the first thing they did was run an EKG, then my blood pressure was monitored and an IV was begun. The paramedics were awesome. The one riding with me kept me calm by explaining everything that he was doing and by asking questions to keep me focused.

By the time we reached the hospital my blood pressure had improved, but was still low. I was taken to the ER. Tests were run. The only thing they could find was that my kidney function was a bit low, a sign of dehydration. I was given fluids. Lots of fluids.

Because of fainting, the ER doctor insisted that I spend the night. It was long and boring. I was not moved to a regular room, but kept in an observation part of the ER. Of course this means all kinds of noise and disruption.

I think I got about four hours sleep, but none of it was in a block.

After running an electrocardiogram on Tuesday and finding nothing, I was released. Actually, the electrocardiogram was the most exciting part of the whole affair. It was pretty neat watching the beating of my heart, from the inside!

The bad news is that I cannot drive until I’ve been cleared by my doctor.

Tuesday afternoon my husband drove me to the store so I could get the items I had intended to buy. While there I asked to speak to a manager. I thanked her and the employees for their care and assistance.

As I was about to leave, two employees who had been there came up to me and asked how I was. This was quite touching.

Today I contacted the store’s website and explained what had happened and how much I appreciate all that the employees did to help me.

I hope this helps the employees. They deserve all kinds of recognition. I just wish I knew their names.