Confidence

I had none.

No belief in myself

Due to years of belittling,

Ridiculing

Being told I was nothing.

Even when my Algebra teacher

Saw something in me.

He encouraged me to speak up,

Developing a quiet voice

That was not brash

Or bragging.

He also taught Calculus,

Math I found easy to master

As it called to in inner ability

To solve puzzles

I didn’t know I had.

I fell in love with Mr. K.

I faked broken fingers

So I could have extra time

In his classroom.

I stalked him,

Looking up similar names

In the phone book,

Then driving to those homes

Hoping to catch a glimpse.

When I realized how stupid

My love was,

I moved on to my next target,

The softball coach,

Who encouraged me to work harder.

When she saw my pathetic glove,

She drove me to her house.

Gave me one of hers.

She asked nothing of me,

But later I wondered.

When the counselor told me

I’d never succeed in college,

I was so angry that I swore

To prove her wrong.

I never told my parents.

For the first time I had conviction,

A motivation to prove doubters wrong.

With great determination

I tackled class after class,

Earning needed credits.

Each tiny success added a chip,

Assurance needed that I could do it.

My morale improved

Shredding all those negative comments

That had been glued to my psyche.

Confidence is a marvelous skill.

It allows for a sense of dignity,

A high morale that lifts chins

Brightens eyes and

Eliminates doubts.

It needs feeding.

Constant reassurance.

Praise and positive comments.

Every day, at times, every hour

Until it sinks in.

That you are worthy.

That you have dignity.

Tenacity and well-earned esteem.

And with that, you walk with poise.

Confidant.

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