A different kind of bravery

By nature I am not a brave person. Put me in a room with unfamiliar people and I cannot speak. I don’t embrace change and am incredibly happy living my life.

Yet when I think back over the years, a number of events arise in which I had to fight against my nature and be brave.

As a young child I preferred my own company, so going to school was a frightening experience. As the years passed I did not get braver, but I did learn how to function within the system. And I did it on my own. No teacher, no school counselor helped me negotiate the ins and outs of school. Because I kept to myself, I did so without the benefit of friends.

So going off to college required a tremendous amount of bravery.  This was a new experience in a foreign environment. I was terrified. But as time passed I made a few friends.

Finding a job scared me. It meant entering unfamiliar places, approaching unfamiliar and often cold people, and facing repeated rejection. Once I did get hired, there was the problem of working in a new environment with strange people.

I would like to think that age has brought me confidence, but it hasn’t. What it has given me is the understanding of myself and the ability to move into new places despite the terror that such things create.

It also helps that I am blessed with a husband who encourages me to step outside my box and go out into the world. Because of him I travel, write, and sing. Because of him I get out of the house and join clubs, go to luncheons and meet up with friends.

Sometimes I wonder how different I might have been if there had been someone like him in my life from the first time I ever left the house as a child.

Because of my husband I am learning to be brave.

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